My Second Year at University: A Reflection
If you've been following me for a while, you'll be aware that I wrote a post like this last year, only I was reflecting on my first year at university. I believe that these types of posts are quite important, especially if you've not yet been or are due to go in September. I won't be sugar coating anything in this post. Yes, university is fun, it'll most likely be the best three years of your life, however it isn't happy all the time, and that is why I wanted to document not only the good things that have happened this year, but also the things that weren't so good. Bare with it, hopefully you'll be able to take something from it, whether it be good or bad!
My second year at university has been quite an experience. I feel as though it's properly turned me into an adult. At 22 years old, I already am one. However, one lesson I've learnt is that age doesn't always determine when a child becomes an adult. Life lessons do.
Adult Admin & Splitting the Bills in a Shared Household
In September 2016, I started my second year at university. I moved into a house I shared with two other girls who were on my course. Being the older one out of all of us, the responsible adult in me liked a challenge and so I was made both head tenant and left in charge of utility and internet charges. My advice to anyone thinking of doing the same is simply don't do it. You're left in charge of everything and it's all in your name. A good company to go through is Split the Bills. They automatically split the bills in your household three ways (depending on how many people you're living with). This saves arguments later on. Don't do it all on your own, as it becomes overwhelming and you'll be left out of pocket.
The only good thing to come of it is that in the future, when you come to owning your own house, you'll know exactly how things work, how much certain things should cost etc. You'd have experience in the world of bills and doing general boring adult admin. Regardless of this, I don't recommend doing it all on your own at all!
Friends
Something you learn, especially having gone through school and four years of A Levels, you learn to accept that friends come and go. Some are more genuine than others. Sometimes their loyalties lie elsewhere, or with other people. It's a fact of life. This is no different at university. You may leave with one or two friends when you graduate, but this is ok. I've got a couple of friends I've known since I was just eleven years old. They were part of the original circle, but out of roughly seven girls I was friends with in secondary school, two have come out the other end with me. This is the same at uni. The friends you have when you start are great at the time, but eventually cracks will show, you may see things in them you don't like, and vice a versa, it works both ways. If you've got friends who ignore you or exclude you, then you aren't going to want to give them the time of day, and again, vice a versa.
Kirstie, someone I'm still very good friends with, came to the Birmingham Christmas Market with me last year. Although it rained all day, we went there and back by train, drank mulled wine and ate hotdogs and churros the whole time. It just goes to show, you can have a wonderful time with just one friend, you don't need dozens of friends, you just need a couple of good ones.
Communication is key to a friendship. If you've got friends who will only do or say things on social media, or who perhaps go about arguments and confrontations the wrong way, then it becomes incredibly difficult to initiate a fair and unheated discussion with everyone present, in the real world, not in the virtual one via a group chat on Facebook or Snapchat where things can be taken the wrong way, or taken out of context. Things won't go unnoticed or unread when said to each other's faces.
If however you become the only one interested in solving things this way, or if you feel as though you're fighting a losing battle, then stop, it's time to put certain friendships to bed, not only will this benefit you on a personal level, it'll also mean you can focus more on what you're actually at university to do...get a degree.
Money
I had a job during this year of university. I still have a job, just at a different store in a different part of the country. Together with my student loan and some savings, I did alright, paid all my rent and bills in full each and every month. But this mainly came through my own hard work regardless of a student loan (of which I get the minimum). It gave me a sense of achievement, to know I have paid my own way through not only my first, but my second year of university. If money was given to me to cover rent, it was paid back before the month was out.
Don't let money stop you from having a good time. I know this is easy to say, but not everything you do has to cost money. Go for a walk, have a small picnic with friends, visit free museums and art galleries, there are plenty of fun things to do run by the local council. Do some research. It may also be something you do on your own to clear your head from your studies or to get away from certain people. Its a good way to chill without dossing in your PJs watching re runs of Orange is the New Black on Netflix (something I myself am guilty of, I won't lie!).
The Course
The course is the most important thing for me. Having had a bad shared housing experience, the course is the only thing that kept me from switching universities. Something that no one at the time knew that that was something I was seriously thinking about. But the course is the most important part so you have to be happy doing it. No matter how hard the work is or how much they throw at you, don't get too over whelmed. A lot was happening when I was doing my final assignments. It wasn't an easy time then, but you have to push everything to the back of your mind, and this is made easier by a great support network. Tom (my boyfriend) for example was an incredible help to me at this time, and it made me stronger and better able to cope. You need to find those people in your life who make you feel safe, and like you can do anything if you put your mind to it.
I immensely enjoyed this year's topics. To the point where I looked forward to a 9am Tuesday morning seminar! Enjoying your course is key! If you don't enjoy it then what's the point? Do something you love and not something you're enduring.
Either way, just get it done, don't put things off, work to the best of your ability, there's only so much you can do. Don't be disheartened if you don't get things right the first time, get up, brush yourself down, and try again. It builds character, trust me.
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I hope this post has been helpful to you, perhaps not as long as initially thought, to which you're probably all relieved ;) I hope you took something away from this post, treat me as a cautionary tale if you will. If you're starting university in September, then I really hope you have a great time, as that's how it should be. Work hard, but party harder!
I'll see you tomorrow with a brand new blog post :)
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