Self-Care & Setting Boundaries
You don't always have to make other people happy or put others first in order to be a nice person, that's something I've learnt over the past few years - my university experience included. Perhaps, growing up, I placed too much emphasis on being nice to people, that I forgot to look after myself. I learnt that being nice to people can sometimes get thrown back in your face and that's not an experience I've ever enjoyed. But instead of doing the polar opposite and being horrible to everyone, I've learnt to be a lot more selective in who I invest my time, attention and love in.
Now this can stretch through to many aspects in my life, including my work and personal life. It's important that everyone is treated with respect, and that's something I will always do, no matter what. Being selective about who I give my time and attention to is simply me setting a boundary, almost like a barrier I have built in order to protect myself from people who are likely to throw help, kindness and love straight back in my face.
I'm naturally quite a nurturing person, and as such, I seem to attract others who need help or support in certain areas of their life, or a situation they've got themselves into, and don't get me wrong, I do enjoy doing it, but while I'm worrying about how other people are feeling and what they're experiencing, my internal thoughts and feelings go unnoticed by the very person who should notice - me. So when your efforts are thrown back in your face, you begin to ask why you bothered in the first place when your own self-care is floundering.
Setting boundaries is how I still consider myself to be a good person, without compromising my own self-care, and although it may seem selfish, it's actually the opposite. Do you set boundaries for the same reason I do, or do you have different reasons for setting yours? Let me know your thoughts either in the comments below or by using my social media links below.
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Yeah, it's true that you can't really help another person unless you've taken care of yourself first.
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