Reflecting On My Own Body Confidence
If you've known me for a while, or have been following me on social media for some time, you'll understand that the relationship I have with my body fluctuates, which is the same for a lot of us. If you asked me how I felt about my body last week, it would be different to how I feel about it today, that's how much it can differ. There doesn't even need to be a trigger for it and it's so frustrating. But recently, I've been working really hard to try and love and accept the body I have acquired over 23 years (which really isn't a long time).
Why Can't You Take A Compliment?
If you also have a love/hate relationship with your body, you'll know that it doesn't always matter what people around you say. Someone could tell you that your bum looks great in those jeans, but if you leave the house thinking those particular jeans aren't flattering on you, then that compliment isn't taken much notice of. Not out of rudeness, but what I see in the mirror could be totally different to what others see, mainly because the harshest critic is yourself.
There have been numerous times where I've stood in the mirror and just picked out parts I hate or want to change and this does absolutely nothing for my self esteem. But bad things I pick out, others won't notice and once again, I've been way too hard on myself. Although it would be nice to be a few pounds lighter, it's not something I'm going out of my way to do.
Let's Have A Photo!
There are a few fears I have which I need to be a bit more relaxed about and one of those things are photos. I hate having my full body in a photo. I feel awkward and anxious and the photo ends up not looking as good as it could have done, had I been a bit more relaxed about it.
I don't even know what I'm afraid of, I can't articulate it to be completely honest with you. It's just something I don't feel totally comfortable with. 50% of the time, I look at a photo of myself and think 'yeah I don't look too bad there', or I could look at it and think 'I'm actually the size of an elephant'. There isn't really an in between.
That's why I've included some recent, full body pictures of me, some I feel ok about and others I don't. But I'm going to use this as a form of therapy. I'm forcing myself to revisit these pictures whilst also sharing them with you guys, whether you like it or not ;)
Using Instagram To Improve Your Body Confidence?
I'm not in my teens, I'm 23, nearly 24 and I grew up without Facebook, Snapchat or Twitter. Instagram wasn't a thing until I was about 15 and even then, it wasn't full of photoshopped bodies where people edited their photos to absolute perfection, banishing cellulite, blemishes, love handles and undefined jaw lines. Instead, kids used it to post silly bits and bobs, myself included. So it's evolved in such a way that's made it incredibly popular, but with that comes some negativity and some of that involves body image. Instagram can be linked to reducing body confidence and self-esteem in young people and that, unfortunately, included myself for a short time.
But instead of focusing on the faux people, I unfollowed everyone that made me feel as though my body wasn't good enough and replaced them with accounts that promote body confidence. These people will do 'before and after' style photos, but in reverse. For example, they started off slim and toned, but they're happier now, being more curvy but they're still healthy.
Following these new accounts on Instagram has really helped me to realise that I don't have to conform to the 'beach body ready' rubbish that's sweeping the internet. I don't feel any pressure to be a size zero. As long as I'm healthy and happy, that's all that matters, and the same goes for you as well.
"Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy"
It's all too easy to look at another person with the perfect body and start comparing yourself to them. My legs don't look like that? My bum doesn't look like that? My arms aren't that shape? I found myself doing it more and more, but I eventually worked out that, the more I did it, the more I was destroying the confidence I had in my own body. I was too busy comparing myself to those with gym bods than embracing what I liked about my own body.
I think there's a fine line between wanting to look like someone, or being jealous of how someone looks, and comparing yourself to the body of another individual. Just because I'd compare parts of my body to other peoples, didn't then mean I wanted to be like that or change my body to look the way they did. It just highlighted the differences between myself and the other person. Does this make any sense? I really hope it does, haha!
Basically, highlighting those differences isn't healthy. It can be psychologically damaging and while that damage is easily done, it's a lot harder to reverse. I think the best way I've found to overcome the issue, is to be more positive about myself. Instead of picking out faults when I look in the mirror, I try and pick out bits I like and to my amazement, sometimes, the list of things I like can be longer than the list of things I don't like and this is what I deem to be progress.
So, What's Next?
I'm not skinny, I don't have a thigh gap or a 25 inch waist, I have a double chin when I look down at my phone, and I probably have one right now as I write this, but surely everyone would with their head at that angle? But I have accepted that I will always have a bit of a love handle or a pocket of fat at the bottom of my stomach. I will never have a perfectly chiselled jaw or a thigh gap either (as if I ever wanted one?). I've finally concluded that having a completely flat stomach won't make me happy.
I'm happy being 5"2, a (UK) size 12, fitting into my 29 inch waist Levi jeans, and having size 4 feet. I'm a healthy person, I eat everything in moderation and exercise for roughly an hour everyday (whether that be swimming, a brisk walk or an exercise DVD). I don't hit the gym five days a week for two hours a day. If that's what you want to do and that's what you enjoy, then that's perfectly ok, because that's your choice, your lifestyle, your body and I'm not judging anyone who does that. But you won't catch me doing it, mainly because I'm just a lazy bugger!
Be content, be healthy, you do you, whether you're a size zero or a size 32, you have as much right to be happy and feel comfortable with your body as anyone else, so don't feel pressured to be or look any other way.
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This was such a brave thing to do, to talk so honestly about your body.
ReplyDeleteAs I've told you many times, you have such an amazing personality, and that's what people will remember. It's so much better to have a beautiful mind rather than a beautiful body. But you have both :)
This will help so many other people in similar mindsets to you too!
Thank you for this lovely comment, it really did take a lot to publish this and my thoughts on it, even including some of the photos felt like a bit of a challenge. But once again, thank you for such an uplifting comment! It really does mean a lot :)
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