Our First Wedding Anniversary: Everything I've Learnt in Our First Year of Marriage
I can't quite believe I'm writing this blog post already. How has it been a whole year since we got married? But upon reflection of one year being married, I wanted to write a blog post about everything I have learnt over the last twelve months.
It's funny, because I didn't really think anything had changed, seeing as we've been together for eight years, but when I sit and think about it, there have been a few things that I have learnt as a result of getting married, and I wanted to share them with you.
Values
When you get married, it's important that your values are aligned or at least very similar. While there are many other things about a person that makes you love them, values are an integral part of any thriving relationship. Something I have learnt over the last twelve months is that our values are very much the same, but we did know that prior to getting hitched as well! It just solidifies everything for us.
Friendship & support
Marriage should be seen as a partnership. Something I have learnt over the last year is that Tom isn't only my spouse, but is my friend and my support network all rolled into one person. Marriage makes you look at things differently, so it doesn't mean that I didn't see Tom as this before we got married, but it becomes all the more evident now that a complete commitment has been made.
Strengths & weaknesses
When you get married, both of our strengths and weaknesses make their way to the surface, because there are fresh challenges faced and different sort of discussions to be had, like children, for instance. Everything becomes a whole lot more serious when you get married, and it can be difficult to navigate.
Through these new discussions, you learn a bit more about each other. I have learnt that my strengths complement Tom's weaknesses, and vice-a-versa. We align with each other to make sure that neither one of us feels inadequate in any way.
Connections
When you get married, it's almost as if a whole new connection is born. It's not like there wasn't a connection there before, of course there was, but I have learnt that marriage creates a whole new layer that wasn't there before.
It feels different, but it feels warm and cosy, like sitting next to a roaring log burner with a hot chocolate when it's snowing outside. I've learnt that there are several layers when it comes to connections with a spouse, and they're still being added to, even a year on.
Compromise
Compromise is the magic word in marriage, and that's something I have learnt over the last twelve months. It's about give and take and you need to remember that when things feel like an uphill struggle. I have to learn to look at things with a fresh perspective, taking Tom's point of view into account as much as my own. An agreement then has to be reached that's best for both parties and I feel as though I have got better at that over the last twelve months.
Equality
Just because you have got married, it doesn't mean that any one of you is more important than the other. Marriage is as much about having an equal and a teammate as much as it is about having a loving friend for life. That's something that I have learnt through the last year of marriage, not that we both weren't on level pegging before, because we were, but it's all the more important to keep that in mind when you get married.
Honesty & transparency
You can't build a healthy relationship on lies, even if they're white, or by hiding things from each other, however small. No matter what it is, you need to be honest, open and transparent about things as much as possible. Going back to my initial point - marriage is a partnership. They're your equal and your teammate, not someone you're up against. They're there to help you through things, no matter what they might be, big or small.
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I hope you found this blog post somewhat insightful? Let me know in the comments below what you learnt during your first year of marriage and I will see you again very soon with some brand new content!
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