Things I've Realised About Friendships in my Mid-Twenties
Friends are wonderful, important people who understand us more than we probably understand ourselves, especially if you've been pals for years. But as you grow older, those friendships evolve, adapt and mature as we do. I met one of my oldest friends at the age of 11 (14 years ago) and we're still friends to this day! But our friendship has changed course, and that's not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination, it just means that it's changed and grown with us - that's just the way it goes when you get older.
As well as the aforementioned, I've noticed a few other things about my own friendships and the way they're viewed and embraced now I'm in my mid-twenties. Looking back, friendships go through stages, especially if you've been friends with the same people for a considerable amount of time.
There's a school phase where you're pretty young and not yet a teenager, then you hit your teens, then you leave school and go different ways, whether it's for uni or something else. You visit each other and speak from time to time, then that stage of your life is over and you've hit your early twenties so your friendship changes again. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just means that friendships are adapting to new adventures and situations that are going off around you and others.
For example, one of my friends had a baby (who is now an adorable toddler) so her priorities changed (of course) so her and her partner could take care of their new arrival. So instead of spending a Saturday night in a bar sharing a bottle of wine and not going home until 1am, we went for lunches and quick coffees to catch up and that's totally fine by me! As long as I got to see her and her little family, I was happy as Larry. We still spend hours in a restaurant or cafe chatting and playing games with her toddler and I love it - it's something I'll always remember and that's why it's important.
Here are some other things I've realised about friendships in my mid-twenties...
You don't see each other as often, and that's ok
I've already touched on this one, but it's also important to point out that it's no one's fault when this happens. Your life changes and your friendships change with it, if your friendships are solid and respectful, then they'll adapt to fit your new lifestyle instead of crumble.
For me, I know that my friend would be there for me no matter what and I would be there for her as well, regardless of the situation or issue, and I think that's so important! Just because you don't see each other as often as you'd like doesn't mean that your friendship is fractured or less meaningful than anyone else's.
Your friendship circle will shrink, but that's not always a bad thing
Having fewer friends doesn't make you unloved or not worth it, people drift apart and that's just the way it is, especially when you're younger. Often, friendships don't end with lots of drama, you'll simply look back one day and realise that it's just fizzled out. You'll be sad that's ended, but then you recognise that those things happen and again, it's no one's fault - it just happens. I have a couple of very close friends but as you get older you discover that they're really all you need and they're the friendships you'll probably have for many years to come and that thought makes me very happy.
You'll want a different kind of friendship from the one you had in your early twenties
Your priorities will change as you get older, what you want from life will change, your situation will change and you'll soon find yourself talking to your friends about something more serious or prominent in your life in comparison to when you were in your early twenties. Our conversations would change from talking about boys and our latest fashion buys to career choices and marriage. It's all about adaptation, especially if you're roughly the same age as each other.
My closest friend was in my year at school, so we've grown up together and have experienced much of the same things together, so there's not much we don't know about each other. We've celebrated the successes of new jobs and the joy of the arrival of her baby, but there are also times that have been less happy that we have helped and supported each other through - that's just the way it's always been!
You need to plan ahead a bit more
If I want to see one of my friends, it requires a bit more planning these days than it did when I was younger. Everyone is busy so finding a time and place to suit all becomes increasingly difficult in your mid-twenties. I have to plan two weeks in advance most of the time just so I can be sure that our meeting will go ahead, especially considering my friend will often have a toddler in tow. You also have to pick somewhere that's buggy/child friendly to accommodate the little'en and that's totally fine, but it does require you to be organised!
Where your friend might not have a baby to look after, planning ahead is still very much a necessary part of maintaining friendships, simply because everyone is so busy doing their thing that it can be difficult to meet up last minute, unless you go for a quick coffee at your local cafe or simply invite them round for a drink in your home. Although you may need notice of the latter so as to get your house visitor ready (and vice versa).
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I hope you enjoyed this blog post, let me know how your friendships have changed and adapted over the years! I will see you again soon with a brand new blog post for you :)
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